Tuesday, 4 August 2009

It's all downhill from here

You know how you never feel as old as you actually are? We live in a pleasant state of denial and it is only the occasional thing that makes us realise time is travelling faster than we noticed. The other day a friend pointed out that we had known each other for twenty two years. This seemed like a shockingly long time. Surely I couldn't have known somebody I only met in the sixth form for that long? But the maths was incontrevertible. We had been friends for over two decades. This was alarming. I must be getting old if I can have known someone for that long. However, nobody else would know my shameful secret. Surely I could carry on living in denial and pretending that I am only just out of my twenties? NO growing old for me!

But recently I have been kicked out of my state of denial with a resounding and painful thud. How can this be? I hear you cry. I want to lie, to tell you anything else but this but I must be brave. I must confess. Deep breath. Here goes. I am starting to go grey. (see how I put that in bold, not grey - it's all part of the denial process). It is the start of a slippery slope. There is no going back from here.

Last time I went to the hairdressers she kindly offered 'to pull out the grey hairs' before announcing that 'there were too many and she didn't have time'. What?? I'm young. I'm full of the joys of youth. Being 20 isn't that long ago. But it is. It's nearly twenty years ago. 40 is approaching like an out of control train and there is no avoiding that after that the next big birthday is FIFTY.

I don't know when this happened. I have been living in denial for the last few years but these evil grey hairs have made me face the horrible truth. I'm getting older. My youth is a memory and one that I can't revisit on a whim. Soon, I can say that I am 'middle aged'. I should probably be saying it now. I don't want to be middle aged though. I want to be anything but middle aged.

But the fates are out to prove to me that old age is all that lies ahead of me. Yesterday the small son of a friend, one who had announced he was going to marry me when he grew up, rescinded his offer on the basis that I would be too old and maybe dead when he grew up. He has obviously seen the grey hairs and rethought his plans. I'm devastated.

I am going online to look for a zimmer frame and may have to trade the loyal hound in for a posse of cats and some knitting.

22 comments:

bevchen said...

My mum is 46 and still goes out partying with my sister and I so there's still hope for you.
A friend of mine turned 26 last week (which I will be soon) and for some reason felt the need to tell me he's now halfway to 52. And I thought being officially closer to 30 than 20 was bad enough!

Mrs Jones said...

Oh, WG, I so hear you. I have known my best friend since we were 9 years old. For me that was 35 years ago. I don't want to be 46 and be closer to 50 than I am to 40. I found my first grey hair (and it was a pube, too!) when I was 23 and it's spread. I've been dying my hair since then and need to do my roots right now (on my HEAD of course - where else?) However I am doing my best to rage against the dying of the light (if not the hair) by currently having mostly a purple barnet but with blonde and hot pink streaks in it. Another friend's middle son (aged 12, I think) was astonished to discover I am the age I am because, according to him I've 'got no lines on my face or nuffink'. I think I love him. I am also in denial about the passing of time. And rambling. Sorry - I seem to have turned this comment into a random stream of consciousness. But it's terrifying to think that, in an earlier age, I would be a grandma (or dead) by now....

Good to be a Queen said...

Dearest Welsh Girl, To put it in plain english "It sucks"...My Optometrist told me I needed bi-focals, which I kindly told him no I did not ( I wear contact lenses ) A few days later I had no choice but to go and buy over the counter reading glasses to go with my contacts...I have also lived in the fantasy that blonde women don't turn gray...WE DO!!!However I will not grow old gracefully...I am going to fight it every day..I'm 48 and I have a daughter that's 27... GOOD LUCK!!!

Mud in the City said...

Shhhhh - I'm going grey too. A nice unsubtle quiff of white hair.

Surely there's some unwritten rule to say that it is mot done to worry about the odd spot and grey hair at the same time.

Help!

Mrs Jones said...

I'm also going a bit soft in the head (oh, and I'd forgotten the bifocals too - I need them as well...yeah, it sucks) - I've just posted an answer to your comment on my blog about wallpaper stripping! AND I made jam for the first time in my life yesterday! Hellfire, I've turned into my mother....

elizabethm said...

Go blonde, wg. It works for me. Sure you are lovely and my best friend has been grey since 30 and looks fabulous.

screamish said...

oh yeeah. middle age. i have a friend who is married to an ex Chippendale bodybuilder (I'm serious) and he claims that middle age for men is 50 and middle age for women is 35.

I haven't yet put a fork in his forehead but i fear this day is coming....

notSupermum said...

Hmm, yes, it could be worse. Just wait until you're nearly 50 and you'll find out...

The Singlutionary said...

I have been really sad lately that my boobs aren't so perky anymore. They used to just always be nice and firm and happy no matter what. There are other things on me that are starting to go downhill as well.

But, I've also been looking at people. I've been looking at people and thinking about how old/young they look.

And truly, there are some people who are not defined by age. Those are typically the unconventional ones. I bet you are one of those. You could be all grey and and still not seem "old".

I am planning on having eternal youth so that even with saggy boobs, I'll at least be a happy old hag.

Home Office Mum said...

I feel your pain. I too am grey and my neck has a waddle. One of those wobbly turkey like things. Nasty. I don't feel old. I still feel as though I could comfortably dance on a bar in hot pants if the mood takes me (luckily it doesn't very often otherwise I could have someone's eye out with my gyrating, dimpled buttock flesh).

My husband is 41 and it terrifies me that I am married to someone whose next big birthday is 50. 40 isnt old. 50 suddenly feels that way. Like Saga magazine subscriptions will come flying through the door.

Sigh. This has made me depressed. Must investigate botox forthwith

Cathy said...

I turned 47 on my last birthday and I hate it! I don't feel 47! I just started to color my hair because I have white hairs coming in and it makes me crazy. Then, I have to deal with the little black hairs that pop out on my chin! Why are they black and my hair is turning white? I am honestly too afraid to look down "there" and see what color it is turning!
My husband says I'm sexier now than even 5 years ago. I don't know about how sexy I am but I am more inclined to say what's on my mind and maybe he likes that confidence. Younger men like older women for that reason or so I'm told. Instead of the cane and cats and whatever else you thinking of lately, try a "boytoy". May get you out of the slump. LOL

justme said...

I don't think I like this entry. I am past 50 and I don't feel old AT ALL! And whats more I have no intention of growing old gracefully!
Humph!

Annette said...

I am 50,, well it IS the new 40 or so they say, I don't feel that old either. It's all about the attitude!

katyboo1 said...

I feel your pain. I become more and more like a silverback gorilla as the weeks and months roll by.

onely said...

Having had flat brown hair all my life, I was actually enthralled by the white hairs spidering out of my scalp. I think they are fabulous and sparkly.

I am less enamored of the single black hair that keeps sprouting from my chin.

Christina

onely said...

Having had flat brown hair all my life, I was actually enthralled by the white hairs spidering out of my scalp. I think they are fabulous and sparkly.

I am less enamored of the single black hair that keeps sprouting from my chin.

Christina

Carolyn said...

I'll be fifty on my next birthday as well. I have the odd white hair (or 30) on my head, but that doesn't bother me - I just pluck those little suckers out. What I really worry about is the tufts of gray, coarse hair that I fear will sprout from my ears any day now. Do you think anyone would tell me if they did? God, I hope so. I need to have a friend swear to it. No hairs on my chin yet, but I've got the tweezers at the ready!

Simone Grant said...

OMG. I would just about kill the person doing my hair if first s/he offered to pull out my grays and then s/he said that there were too many and it would take too long.

We're all getting older. I'm 39. I'm constantly told by rude young people that I'm "pushing 40". But so what. My mom was middle aged at my age. I'm still YOUNG!

(and I have a fabulous colorist who makes sure I look that way)

Rob-bear said...

Pushing 65, this ol' Bear has gone from blond, to brown, to gray, to white -- all natural.

But I sense your despair, and increasing madness. You must be totally desperate, or psychotic, if you'd even think of giving up the Loyal Hound! (Hound seems the one ray of continuing sanity in your life.)

elizabethm said...

Where are you? How are you? I'm off to the hairdresser tomorrow for renovation work!

Merry said...

Old? I'm not old! I'm ... in my late youth. 46 is quite young, actually. Sorta.

You know you're starting to get oldish when the doctor points out that "these sort of problems start appearing at your time of life."

bevchen said...

Where are youu? Come back!

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