Thursday 30 December 2010

Hop Along Hound

I warn you now; I am not having a good week. Within five minutes of arriving home on Tuesday, I had a client on the phone in a panic because she was about to go skiing and there was a drama at her house. Could I please sort it out??? Sure. Why not? This was going to be the first three days off I had had in a year but I'd love to work instead. Time off is overrated isn't it? I am feeling very Bah Humbugish about that particular client now. The drama is entirely one of her own making and yet she has that peculiar skill of making everything somebody else's fault; usually mine.

To top things off yesterday morning the hound became the Reliant Robin of the dog world and refused to use his front foot. It, he said, hurt a lot. This was slightly baffling. He had been fine the night before but we had done a very strenuous amount of work on Monday, sliding down gullies and crossing frozen rivers. There was obviously something horribly wrong. By the afternoon he was booked in to go to the vet. Being Christmas, the local one wasn't open and so it was a 40 minute drive to their main branch. Joy. Having mercilessly prodded and squeezed the offending paw, the vet decided that he had probably stubbed his claw so hard it had jammed back into the bad. We were sent home with medicine.

I have overly optimistic faith in medicine. I felt certain that with a cocktail of drugs he would be better by now. Instead his paw is even more swollen and is now a third bigger than the other one. He has a new appointment with the vet tomorrow morning and I am now in a dilemma as to what to do.

I am supposed to be going to Guildford for New Year's Eve, leaving tomorrow morning. Then on to Hastings, back to Guildford for Sunday, Southampton on Monday and London on Tuesday... However if the loyal hound has to be admitted then I am not going to want to go. This raises two questions.

Question One; Am I becoming a sad old spinster whose life revolves around her equivalent of a pack of cats?

Question Two: If I do cancel my trip south will my friends think me pathetic????

This may well be my worst ever Christmas / New Year week. Oh, and I didn't win the lottery, even though I actually went to the trouble to buy a lottery ticket this time. Grrrrr

Wednesday 22 December 2010

Why didn't I buy everybody book tokens for Christmas?

It is dark and about minus 10 outside and I am about to make my umpteenth trip up the forestry track with my toboggan laden with presents. This is because my car is at the end of the track, next to the gritted road. It's a good thing really as with a foot of snow on the ground already I had another six inches last night. Hurrah.

When I bought my presents I was rather delighted with the scale of some of them. They were so excitingly large after all. Their size is infintely less appealing when they have to all be carried nearly a mile on a toboggan and you can only fit one or two on at a time.

It is at this point that I realise the true value of book tokens. With just a laden pocket I could have skipped out of the hovel for Christmas. Why or why didn't I think of this a month ago???

Anyway, here are some snowy photos of the view from my garden to put you all in the Christmas spirit. Think of me with my sledge of presents under the starry sky. I had better watch out as with my stomach's profile I could easily be mistaken for Father Christmas.....

One more for you - I took this two nights ago as I took the first toboggan load up. Yes, that's the moon.....

Wednesday 15 December 2010

In which I am invited to not one, but two parties....

Great Excitement at the hovel. Apparently, every year there is a party for those of us foolish to live in the middle of the forest and around a reservoir. This is held in the local village, in the glamorous venue of the education centre. Cue fluorescent lighting, strange acoustics and no heating..... This will be a first for me. Last year, having only lived here a measly 8 months, I was not eligble for an invitation, but this year I have made the list.

I feel touched to have been included, and faintly horrified on the basis that it might be one of those hideous sorts of parties where everyone mills about not being quite sure who to talk to and wondering if they dare risk eating the stale egg and cress sandwich curling up in the corner next to the sausage roll which has never seen a sausage in it's life.

However, I am very conscious of the fact that if you snub these things you in turn will be snubbed for ever, so I am going. Next question. What to wear?

I mean, my clothing of choice usually involves multiple jumpers and jeans but I know how the Welsh love to dress up. What if I turn up in jeans and they are offended that I haven't made any effort. Equally if I dust off the tiara and they are all wearing jeans I shall look like a complete idiot. It's a dilemma. I am thinking tiara with jeans might be the way forward. Any thoughts out there?

Also, do I take wine or mince pies or something? What is the etiquette on these things???

That is not my only clothing dilemma for the week. I have been asked to a party on Saturday night and the dress code is 'the twelve days of christmas'. Having checked the verses of this particular carol I see that there is a 50% chance that I shall have to go dressed as some kind of bird, there is the option of being a pear tree I suppose, or 5 gold rings. I can't go as one of the 'Ladies Dancing' as I have two left feet, no coordination and people will just think I am having an epileptic fit. Neither do I long to go as a milk maid but unless I am missing something my options are limited.

As some of you may know, I loathe and detest costume parties. I always, always get them wrong and make either too much effort or not enough. I need help. Step by step instructions on how to make a costume using nothing but what might be found around the house would be a good start. Anybody have any ideas????

Tuesday 14 December 2010

Are you in need of a happiness fix?

Well, if you are I suggest you try this; (sorry - can't get the links to work but cut and paste it - it will be worth it....)

I defy you not to at least smile.... If you need more of the same then this one in all its glory has got to work. I particularly like the old ladies with their umbrella....

Happy Tuesday everyone....

Sunday 12 December 2010

In the words of the Terminator

I know, it's been an awfully long time. There are all sorts of exciting reasons I could give for this but very few of them would actually be true. The shameful truth is that something had to give, and it was the blog.

Fighting off a recession single handed (yep, that's me - the lone musketeer) when you are self employed is no laughing matter. Choosing to live on the side of a mountain in the middle of nowhere when all the work is 200 miles away also complicates things.

I meant to get all technologically updated so that it wouldn't matter where I was but the whole attempt was a disaster and I managed to delete one e mail account and lock myself out of the other one.

I am now sitting in the hovel, fairy lights strewn around the door in a tocken gesture towards Christmas and waiting for a load of logs to be delivered. I am suspicious of the green world I see around me this week and don't think it is going to last. In fact negotiating my road is a task worth of Mr Fiennes as it is a sheet glacier some two inches thick from top to bottom. Yesterday I made it three quarters of the way up before elegantly sliding all the way back down hill. I was not to be beaten though and turned the car and reversed out the half a mile or so instead.

Various things have shifted on a cellular level in the lives of the family. To my horror Chutney Mary has moved home and now lives an alarming 12 miles or so away. The box of frogs has married her prince which meant a summer of endless wedding discussions and me the only voice for elopment in the room.....

So, this is just a short snippet but I promise not to leave it so long. In the words of the Terminator, I'll be back.

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