Return to the Hypnotist

As if I don't have enough on my plate with trying to move house (Completion date is set for the 29th April!!!!), I am now in a full scale battle with the hypnotist.

I rang him to tell him that the mind experiment seemed to have gone horribly awry and was rather taken aback to have him lecture me for ten minutes on how I was too stressed, bitter, angry and a miserable failure as a human being and that was why the whole thing hadn't worked. The fact that, right from the start, I had expressed doubts about whether I was a good hypnotism subject was irrelevant and any sense of culpability on his part was a ridiculous assertion and I should wash my mouth out with soap just for thinking it.

This is not good. The service he offers means that if the hypnotism fails then I have to go back for a rematch. That is to happen this afternoon. By now, I have so little trust in him that the idea of letting him hypnotise me is horrifying. So, I have a dilemma. Walk away from the £250 I spent, or go back and risk either being turned into a chicken or being done for murder most horrid when I stab the hypnotist in an infuriated rage as he lectures me on what a problem child I am.

All this on top of the fact that I am spending my morning speaking to all the varied customer service departments of the phone / insurers / broadband suppliers etc etc trying to get my house move sorted out.

So far I have managed woefully little, despite spending three hours on the telephone speaking to various people round the world. It turns out that moving house is a preposterous thing to do that involves mockery, dickensian paperwork and apparently no broadband access for the rest of my life. Not amusing. I now AM a bitter and angry person and am completely shocked at how wildly unhelpful the majority of the firms have been.

I know this is an incoherent rant but I'll be back when I have seen the hypnotist and will cluck away more coherently then.....