Cyber dumped, I think......

So, it is nearly two weeks since I met up with Pilot man, the best of the cyber men to have come my way. We had a pretty good time all in all, though there was no particular jolt of attraction on my side at least (I don't know about him) and at the end of our date he suggested that we meet up again. He suggested, not me. He is based in Manchester this week and so it was agreed that this would be a good time to meet up. That was the plan.

Since then - NOTHING. Not a text message, a phone call, an anonymous note, or a carrier pigeon. I sent him a brief friendly e mail last week saying thank you for lunch and that it would be lovely to meet up again. I haven't even had a reply to that. I can't read anything good into this deafening silence.

Have I been dumped? If I have then why can't he at least e mail me to say 'I'm really sorry but I don't think this is going to work.' Is that not the done thing? Or is this just typical dating behaviour and I am living in a Georgette Heyer novel to expect actual communication?

Should I be ringing him to find out what is happening? Is this a test? Am I supposed to just know that he doesn't want to see me again because he hasn't rung, or is he just a useless male who hasn't noticed that two weeks have gone by and we haven't spoken. I didn't think he was that dozy to be honest and suspect this is a major hint that I am dumped, did not live up to expectations and was a waste of his time. But what if I'm wrong?

It's a dilemma. If I don't ring then he might think that I wasn't interested. If I do ring then he might hang up on me then change his number and move to Guatemala because all he wants is to never see me again, hence his deafening silence over the last fortnight which I was supposed to recognise as a firm 'bugger off' signal. The etiquette of this whole thing baffles me.

God, this dating thing is hard work. My heart isn't broken or anything but I would like to know where I stand. How on earth do I find out though? Help please.

AAaaaargghhh - the shame!

So a couple of days ago, I had a ranty whingey blog about Energy efficient lightbulbs. This gave me great pleasure, and was of very little interest to anybody else except for one person. For those of you who weren't so bored that they died half way through reading said rant, you will remember that I mentioned the lighting in a friend's house; in fact I whinged about it. I complained that it was dark as night and that I wanted to run around swapping their commendable lightbulbs for real bulbs.

I thought no more of this until today when I had an e mail from said proud houseowner. We are both going to a swishing party tonight (think swap shop with nice clothes and shoes), and she is giving me a lift. In her e mail, she was panicking about which of her clothes she could bring herself to part with and right at the end she dropped her bomb shell. I shall quote her for you: "Why don't you bring some light bulbs- I'll swap you my long life ones!!!!!"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Caught, red handed, red faced and with a stripey shirt and a bag of swag. She read the blog. She recognised her house. I shall be hated for ever more and expect to be traded in at tonight's swishing party for a pair of old green flash tennis shoes and a box of candles.

You have mail.

E mails are both a joy and a nightmare. This week I had a lunatic e mail from one of my sisters (not the one who makes Chutney and lives in the darkest west country, the other one who is mad as a box of frogs, thinks she is 27 and is nearly 40. She lives in London). Anyway, she sent me an e mail in what I read as a very shirty tone of voice about plans for the other sisters 40th. It's a whole other story but it did make me think about e mail and the joys and dangers of it.

Joyous Things about E mail:

* You can stay in almost instant touch with friends all over the world, often whilst looking as though you are working.
* You can send a brief message to someone without having to track them down on the phone and go through all the chit chat just to say 'yes, I can do Wednesday'
* People sometimes send you funny things that make you spit your tea all over your keyboard 'cos you are laughing so hard.
* It is a million times easier to organise things with a group of people with the whole group e mail / reply to all option. No more "I'll ring so and so and get back to you" hassle.
* I know what my godchildren who live abroad look like 'cos I get photos of them every now and then through the wonders of e mail attachments.
* You can have an ongoing argument with somebody (like my sister) without ever actually speaking to her and then tell her that she misread the tone when she calls you on it.

Nightmarish things about E mail:

* Spam, Spam, Spam, Lobster Thermidor and SPAM
* Now that we are so techno dependant I slide into panic and fear when my e mail doesn't work. I see visions of a dark future for myself where I will not know what is going on and won't be able to tell anyone that I don't know what is going on because my e mail is on the fritz. It's a trauma.
* Companies now think that they don't need to speak to anyone because they can make you e mail them with your complaint, query, request and they can then send you an automated reply and never read your rant.
* It is very easy to misinterpret the tone that an e mail is sent in. Sarcasm doesn't translate well, or irony and it can be tricky to divine whether the e mail you have just sent / received was meant as a joke or a termination of all friendship.
* People send you random pictures of their children wearing their pants as a hat, eating, breathing, looking like Damien from the Omen. I have no idea what to send back as a reply and just ignoring said photos feels rude. It's a modern manners dilemma.


I'm sure there are a load more things that I love / hate about e mail but these are the ones I wanted to share for now.

Remember to breathe - Tick.

I have worked like a whirling dervish today. 'In' piles bearing the dust of centuries, have become crisp 'out' piles of post. I love productive days like this. To kick start my whirling dervish activities, I put on a tall hat and a long coat and spun my way over to the barn where I composed a long list of things that I have to get done this week. The list has ruled my day and no deviation from it is allowed. I'm strict with myself on things like that. However, I do have some sneaky tactics that I use when making lists.

The thing with lists is to put EVERYTHING onto them in order to get a really good sense of achievement by being able to cross them off. Start with 'go to office'. Excellent - I have arrived in the office and already can tick something off. Hurrah. Carry on with list by adding on the the various tiresome work related things for clients, remembering to breathe, eating lunch, talking to the loyal hound, checking the blog, writing lists etc etc. All too soon, I have an overwhelmingly long list but a list that I can instantly put checks against.

Reviewing it now, I can confirm that I have eaten lunch, remembered to breathe, and what's more done enormous amounts of work. There is a huge pile of post next to me ready to go to the post office tomorrow. My books are balanced (Georgette Heyer on top of Peter Ho Davies since you asked) and my e mails and phone calls are replied to. I have placed orders and paid bills and given my parents coffee when they did a drive by with some bags of coal and an apple tree for me (what can I say, they go shopping in odd places).

All this gives me a glowing feel of satisfaction and the perfect justification to go and meet a friend at a nearby reservoir and take the loyal hound for a walk while I pick blackberries. I am going to make blackberry whisky tonight.

I think I'll put going for a walk and make blackberry whisky on my list, then I can tick them off tomorrow morning.......