My sister, mad as a box of frogs, hence the name, is in love. She met her beau at a houseparty in the North of Scotland. Tall, ex army and with a head of thick, grey hair, he was promptly nicknamed 'the Silver Fox' and so he shall remain.
They went straight from being strangers to being a couple. Literally. They met on a Saturday. They parted company for their respective homes on the Sunday. They met up the next weekend and officially became 'a couple'. They are at the stage where they can't remember each other's name and call one another 'Darling' a lot. Now they are talking about moving in together.
It just goes to show how quickly these things can happen. After all they only met two and a half months ago. My prediction? If they are still going out by Christmas then this time next year I'll be shopping for a wedding outfit. Apparently he is coming to stay with us for Christmas. Brave of him. Christmas in our household is a deranged affair with an excess of decorations, bickering, food and sulking. If he makes it through that then marriage to the box of frogs will be a doddle.
That's not actually what I wanted to tell you about though. Box of Frogs has been out of a relationship for a while now and she is a few years older than me. She knows what it is like to be single and how vexing the questions you get asked are. You want examples? Ok, how about this one:
"I can't understand why you are single?" This is usually said by well meaning friends but is intensely irritating as it is a pointless statement. I mean, if I knew why I were single, presumably I would do something about it. Are they expecting me to respond by saying in an insouciant fashion "Oh, it's because at midnight I like to eat a kitten and wash it down with the blood of a freshly squeezed bat." What am I supposed to say when people ask that. Do they want an answer? Seriously people, I don't know why I am single, but I am and I am getting on with my life. It doesn't make me less of a person or anything.
Box of Frogs, more than anyone knows how this type of question is not helpful at all. The other night she came to stay and she said to me.
"The silver fox and I feel so bad that we are happy and you are single. I must introduce you to some of his friends". (ok I'm paraphrasing a little)
So, let me get this straight. If I am single I therefore cannot be happy? Pah! Harumph and Bah Humbug to you. How is it that Box of Frogs, having been single for years and years, is suddenly converted to matchmaking me? It's not that I'm averse to meeting the Silver Fox's friends. They may be George Clooney, or Clive Owen. I'm all for that. What I'm not keen on is the instant pity factor that she has developed now that she is in a relationship and I am not. It is a betrayal of those of us who are single and surviving.
I imagine it is a bit of a conversion thing. She is converted to lurve and all it's glories and wants me to be on the side of the couples, god and all shiny happy things in the universe. Instead I am loitering on the dark side, eating crisps, watching House and wearing mismatched underwear because nobody gets to see it and I can! Obviously, I need to be saved.
Well, not today. Box of Frogs is off on holiday with the Silver Fox this week. Next week I expect she'll start matchmaking me with his accountant.
Christmas through the times of my life
3 days ago
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14 comments:
Ah yes, infuriating but inevitable! And how lovely for her that she has found love so utterly and so quickly. You never know, as you say, his friends may include someone fabulous! I agree so much about the rudeness and unanswerability of the "why are you still single?" question. Why do people think they can ask this sort of thing? I was frequently asked after my divorce and continuing friendship with my ex, why, if we got on so well, we hadn't stayed married. Far too complicated to answer and none of your business was the only possible response!
Good grief! And when you think of how many truely MISERABLE couples there are in the world, why is it not normal to ask, 'why on earth are you still in a couple?' with a pitying look in your eye........hmmmm?
What a healthily helpful outlook. I re-married once, to a silver fox under similar circumstances and spent the next five years attempting to get my money and self respect back. I'd settle for an ornamental occasional lover now, but marriage? Phumfffff
Elizabeth - It is lovely and I am seriously happy for her. Most ungracious of me to then grumble really.
Justme - can you IMAGINE if you said that!
Liz - ooh - you married a silver fox??? Most intriguing. sorry it didn't work out.
Hmmmm. . . . Tradesmen who fire you. A sister turned matchmaker.
Yup, you've got an interesting life.
Hope nobody messes it up on you. Seems like you and Loyal Hound have been doing reasonably well so far.
Ah yes, evangelical couples. I one very dear friend who, recently coupled up, I invited to a dinner party at my place. She then kindly 'offered' to bring a spare man, in case I 'couldn't find one' with a pitying look. Thanks!
(By the way - I don't mind being matched up with the Silver Fox's friends. Although preferably not his accountant)
OK, i really don't understand why people do that. I feel no pity for single people and I certainly don't feel the need to match make them all the time!
It will be over by Dec 1st.
Rob-Bear - Don't I know it. This morning there was an assassination attempt by the loyal hound that nearly succeeded. Et tu Brute???
Mud - Did you punch her???? The friend I mean? Why is it that we all fear accountants? There are bound to be some attractive, witty and engaging ones out there aren't there?
Bookish NYC - do you want to take a bet on that? I think they are going 'all the way' with this one.
Hi there -- it's BookishNYC again (also known as Karen). You'll have to forgive my cynical nature -- my previous comment was not meant to be ill-natured. I'm a divorce lawyer and thus have a dark view of the world -- not always justified. Good luck to your sister and her Silver Fox! : )
Welsh Girl. I enjoyed this post very much you see I'm from a rather large family, I have five brothers. Who never seemed to let me date when I was young... now that I am single have taken upon themselves to inquire about my dating life. After being on two disastrous dates with friends of my brothers, I have learned never to allow family members to set me up. I don't know why people feel you have to be with someone to be happy, I would rather be alone and happy then miserable with someone. That being said, I do understand exactly how you feel.UGGHHH!
Karen - not to worry as I didn't take your comment as being ill natured. I'm curious know - do you think marriages are all doomed? Incidentally Box of Frogs and the Silver Fox are going to move in together.
Annette - five brothers???? are any of them tall and single and keen to visit Wales???
coupled people can be so smug. people in love are the worst. They think that they have figure out the key to happiness.
Its OK. It'll wear off in about 9 months. And then you can say "I am so happy single. Why don't you toss Silver Fox out the window so you can be just like me"
ah! have you gotten to the stage in life where you get what i refer to as "the miracle stories"? some well-meaning friend or acquaintance will run into you at an affair where everyone seems to be having an affair, or love fest of some sort, and they look you up and down and say:
You know, I had a friend *just your age* who NEVER managed to meet anyone. Then, she went on a trip/cruise/retreat (pick one) and met this MARVELOUS man and two months later they were married and she's NEVER been happier!"
my usual response was "why are you telling ME this?"
i also (being single still) love how people seem to think it must be *your* fault... that hurt look and the "i don't *understand* it...." and the implication (sometimes spoken) that you must be too picky, too fussy, too snobby, cold or distant -- otherwise, you'd be attached to someone and therefore fulfilling your proper role as a woman!
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