To subscribe or not to subscribe, That was going to be the question. You see, the last cyber dating hell site that I was on never took my details off the site when I cancelled my membership (after Cravat man and composer man I felt there was no hope left in the world). In the last week or so I have had a couple of e mails from random cyber men who have seen my details and mistaken me for Cindy Crawford crossed with Victoria Wood (easy mistake to make). One of them sounded quite nice, and the other was friendly, so I sent them one of the set (and free) one liners provided by the service to say that my subscription had run out etc etc. I then sat and pondered whether I should reactivate myself (metaphorically and on line).
That was going to be the topic of this fascinating blog entry. I had a whole poll worked out which you - my fascinated readers - would have eagerly filled in. All decision making would then have been taken out of my incapable hands and the resulting chaos would have been your fault. It was a good plan and I do like it when a plan comes together.
Only this one didn't. Just as I started writing this post an e mail dropped into my inbox from one of the cybermen. He has PAID FOR MY ACCOUNT FOR ME!!! Just for three days mind, but still, that's keen isn't it? Or is it, in fact, stalkerish? Am I now obligated to bear his children and wash his socks for evermore? And on an etiquette front, is it rude to use the free sub he has given me to e mail the other cyberman as well?
So, new poll for you.
Is the latest Cyberman a stalker or a gentleman?
Do I have to bear his children for him in return for three days subscription to cyberhell? If not his children, must I give him my e mail address, bank account details and mother's maiden name?
Can I e mail the other cyberman (possibly the nicer one) without being plagued by guilt that cyberman one has enabled it.
Answers asap please. The subscription is running out as I type....
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Depends - it's hard to tell at this stage, could go either way. Sometimes the line between healthy chasing and stalking can be a bit thin! Good luck, I think you're brave. I also know someone who met her significant other through online dating - she lives in London and because of work, commuting etc was finding it hard to meet anyone. Best wishes. Lesley
Just imagine it's like him paying for dinner - he doesn't get a shag just cos he paid does he? No. So, the new cyberman is the same - he is just wanting to know you better, but you don't owe him anything. At all. It was his choice to pay, not yours.
Enjoy! And of course we want all the details!!
I have to agree with not Supermum on this one. He did it without you asking so he must want to get to know you. So, check him out thru some emails to find out if he's a creeper. And, email the other just to get a "look" at him.
Draw the line at children and socks. Just ignore any pleas for meeting them alone or giving out any other particulars. There are way too many freks out there and I don't want to read about you being killed by a serial killer. I'd miss you too much. And, that's a big And, if they ask for any article of clothing that you have worn run like hell.
I'll be waiting to hear all about them.
Sea Blue Sky etc - when you say either way, you mean either Rom com marvellous or slasher film don't you.... I am NOT rom com sort of girl. Nothing Julia Robertsish about me at all. There's no hope for me.
Not Supermum: pay for dinner? Do men do that? Cravat man made me buy him drinks when I'd driven 3 hours to the meet point. I don't think men who spontaneously and thoughtfully pay for things exist anymore do they?
Cathy - ok. we need to talk. You've had men wanting your old clothes (and I assume they weren't Salvation Army officers)? Even I in my Brigadoon style world can see that that is just wrong! I shall send him packing if he so much as looks lasciviously at my socks. Now any good questions that I should be asking him to determine the difference between 'creep' and 'sane man'...
I'm actually not sure whether that's really creepy or just ridiculously keen. Either way you should definitely email the other one. I mean, it's not like you ASKED him to pay for you.
a. I think 75 percent gentleman
but don't even think of
bearing his children or any of
the other things yet
b. Email the other one too
Nice to have you back.
Wendy (Wales)
Nice to see you are back!
I should treat it as tho he has bought you a drink ( one that is quite nice, but not asked for, so no reciprocation required) Stay cool. You definately don't OWE him anything at all. But it is possible he was just being nice, cos he quite liked the look of you. And of course you can contact the other one. Why not? Relax hun!
You don't have to meet either of them unless you want to, and given the previous experiences, I should take a while chatting by e mail before you do...
Sounds a bit stalkerish to me. Take advantage and contact no. 2 while you've got the chance.
I should point out my youngest brother met his current wife through online dating...14 years ago so sometimes it works.
Fingers crossed!
While I a little odd, I don't think it stalkerish. Just over eager maybe. I don't think you arae obligated to anything with him, and yes, do take the opportunity to contact bachelor #2.
Hmm, tricky one. I'm for contacting the other one, emailing both of them for a bit. You will very soon get the sense of whether the guy who paid is just overeager or a bit odd!
Good luck!
To be honest, I'd never had anyone ask for a piece of my clothing before. I had one ex who liked to wear my clothes but not after I'd been wearing them all day. No, the request was made very politely from a Scotsman and it was for my panties. lol Yes, I laugh now but at the time I was mortified. He had seemed the most wonderful man for the two weeks leading up to that. Such a shame he was a Perv.
Let us know about the emails. We want to live vicariuosly through you and your ventures in dating land.;)
Don't take responsibility for his choice. He is paying for the gift of getting to know you better. Yes, email the other guy.
I think his behaviour shows "balls" and is reasonable; he only paid for 3 days not a year's membership or something, so he has his own boundaries. I say he sounds pretty good. Good luck! Jody (Canada)
hmmmmm. kind of interesting. but potentially scary. as always, be veeeery careful. and email the other bloke, keep up a good sample size, that way you have perspective when you meet them. IF you meet them. stay safe!
Bevchen - me neither - the line between creep and keen is a fine one!
Wendy - it may be too late.... (good to be back!)
Just me - thanks. All good advice but as ever I seem to have tumbled straight into disaster zone. I'll post about it to keep you up to date.
Mr Farty - the man's opinon and he lands on the side of stalker. Darn it.
Rebekah - it may be too late...
Elizabeth - it turns out to be hte more appealing one who paid for the sub so Bachelor 2 may not even get a look in....
Cathy - I don't know whether to laugh or cry. At least he asked politely!!!
Jody - excellent advice from the Canadian judge. I shall persevere..
Screamish - It's not the staying safe that worries me, it is that he will turn out to be yet another lunatic in a cravat.
Hilarious! Now I see how you got into this whole mess (I am reading your post backwards). haha. That was noble of cyber man but also kinda pushy. We will see. That could be a nice gesture and could be a psycho one. I can't wait to hear the stories.
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