Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Word Play

I saw these the other day and thought I would pass them on to you. They are from the Washington Post. Mensa each year asks their readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2009 winners: (Number 2 of the second list has great meaning for me!!!)

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. (this one describes me alarmingly well)
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole. (I know several people who this word describes beautifully)
3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. (Been there, done that)
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. (this surrounds Ignoranus's I feel)
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. (have no idea what this would be like. Sounds terrible though)
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Doppler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. (so that's who it was....)
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. - Ahmen!!!!!!!!!!
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

So, there you have it. Wordplay for a Wednesday.

17 comments:

Kitty Moore said...

I shall be using some of those words..'circumvent' is my favourite!

Kitty x

www.kittymoore.blogspot.com

Kate said...

I wonder if there is any way I can work some of these into conversation...

elizabethm said...

Love it love it love it! Abdicate and flabbergasted speak to me particularly.

justme said...

Excellent stuff!

justmeagain said...

Oh! and this is where I am now!

Rob-bear said...

Well, you certainly have a way with words.

I've seen the list before -- a few years ago -- and I still think it is funny.

Too many of them fit our world far too well; they should be in some "official" dictionary. Webster's? Oxford? Whatever.

Tattie Weasle said...

Cashtration is my favourite and in my house at the moment I'm the coffee!

screamish said...

hey- hows it going??? no news for a while, have you given up blogging???

Caroline said...

Is there a clever, succinct phrase to use as an antonym for 'ignoranus'?

DazedLittleMiss said...

Lol, I think Glibido is the funniest.

Home Office Mum said...

Where have you gone? Please come back? Have you found your perfect man yet??

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bevchen said...

Merry Christmas!
Where are you? Please come back...

Anonymous said...

ahhhhahahaha, Gargoyle - Olive-flavoured mouthwash.

Some people have too much time on their hands....

Anonymous said...

Just popped in to wish you and Loyal Hound a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Hope the builders haven't made you lose the will to live!
Wendy (Wales)

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