Wednesday, 6 January 2010

Mad woman on a mountain

I know, it's been a long time since I was here. I didn't die or anything. Life just escaped me for a while. Builders, Christmas, a crushed finger, snow. The usual excuses. Now I am marooned and there are no excuses not to return. There is a possibility that overnight the hovel, loyal hound and I were whisked off to Switzerland. The only reason I know this isn't the case is that there is no chair lift or gluwhein in sight. Instead there is snow. nothing but snow. So much snow that I have had to shovel a path to my woodshed. You want to see a picture? ok - here's one for you...

I should point out that I took this photo before it started snowing yesterday, when another 7" fell.....

I know that many are excited about the snow but I am on my third week of being snowed in and am thoroughly bored now. I had to evacuate the week before Christmas and ended up spending a fortnight over Christmas with my parents and family. It was about 12 days too long in my book. Carless, and with a house only 7 miles away that I couldn't get to, I was rapidly entering a state of madness. Chutney Mary and the nephews were not too bad but the Box of Frogs had brought her new man home for Christmas and they were lucky to escape with their lives as I was ready to commit foul and dastardly Midsummer Moider style acts after day 2. By day 9 I could barely look either of them in the eye without snarling. Friendly aren't I?

On Sunday I made it home in a combination of four wheel drive vehicles, toboggans and foot slogging and the relief at being back in my own house delicious.

So what happened whilst I was away from cyberspace? The crushed finger was an exciting interlude. I'll set the scene. The builders had finished and after spending three weeks stripping woodchip off the walls and then two weeks painting I was nearly finished. All that was needed was a bit more painting and the carpets to be delivered and laid.

The carpet arrived in a 25 metre x 4 metre roll. Unfortunately the carpet layers didn't arrive. The delivery man was determined to lift nothing more than a piece of paper so my batty neighbour, his ex girlfriend and the postman were roped in. We hauled the carpet onto a ladder and struggled to pull it out of the van into the barn. As the ladder came off the van, the weight kicked in. Everybody apart from me dropped the ladder and my finger was left, trapped between it and the floor. Much cursing and swearing ensued. Then pain. a lot of pain. This being me, I didn't go to the doctor on the basis of 'what would he do anyway?'. By Thursday I gave up and went to see him. He promptly said 'Aaaah yes. You have crushed the bones in your fingertip and the nail needs to come out. Come back tomorrow'. Clutching my arm to my chest I went off and licked my wounds for 24 hours. When I returned he injected my finger with local anaesthetic and then, WITHOUT WAITING FOR IT TO WORK he pulled my finger nail out with a pair of pliers. The Spanish Inquisition had nothing on this man.

Cue shrieks of pain from me and gasps of horror from the nurse who had me pinned to the table. The doctor gave me a scathing look and said 'pull yourself together'. I resisted punching him with my good hand and then shrieked some more as he re crushed all the bones in the finger. ('just checking to see if they are broken - they are!') I'm never going to a doctor again.

Two weeks later the finger felt better but I had torn all the muscles in my shoulder from holding the finger up to my chest (as instructed by the doctor). Why not give me a sling? Apparently this was not worth doing. It would be much better to make me spend over a hundred much needed pounds at the physiotherapist thank you.

This incident put another delay on my life. No painting, no typing and no sleep as the finger / shoulder worked hard to keep me awake. This was a little bit gutting. Having lived on a building site for six weeks all I had been looking forward to was the nice bit at the end when I put the furniture back, cleaned like a lunatic and painted. Instead everything had to be done one handed and at a snail's pace. I could have wept (actually, at one point, I did). This really was a time when I was Single and only just surviving. I longed to have someone else here who could help.

I am now entering a state of cabin fever and rely on all of you to keep me in touch with the world. There are people out there aren't there???? I am living on porridge and cigarettes and am running low on both so tomorrow I will fight through 3/4 mile of snow and see if I can find someone with a four wheel drive to give me a lift to the shops and back. The road over the mountain is not for the faint of heart. The drifts are 8' high the road has been reduced from a wide two lane tarmac ribbon to a single lane of icy slush between the drifts.

I have already brought in two wheelbarrows of logs and dug the loyal hound out of a drift that he misjudged. The reservoir is frozen over and snowed on and looks beautiful. In some ways it is a good thing there is nobody up here at the moment. I must look like a madwoman. When it is snowing hard my stylish outdoor wear consists of a pair of boots with rubber trousers over them to stop the snow filling my wellingtons (actually I have to wear that delightful part of the ensemble all the time now as the snow is too deep to walk in without the trousers). Top half? Coat, gloves, russian style hat with ear flaps and yesterday I was reduced to wearing my strimmer glasses as I couldn't look up into the snow without them. I am the mad woman on the mountain.....


Anonymous said...

Am I living in the only part of the UK that has been virtually snow free all winter? I don't understand it. My journey to work across London this morning was even faster than it normally is!

Sorry about the finger though - ouch!

screamish said...

mmmm...porridge and cigarettes...lovely.

crushed finger Doctor of Death sucks bigtime. you poor thing!

nice you're back tho, its been AGES!!!!!!!!!!!

justmeagain said...

LOVELY to see you back, I was beginning to worry. The finger saga sounds horrible...and your doctor is Not Nice!
Being snowed in does get a little tiresome after a day or two, doesn't it? Very pretty, yes, but SO inconvenient.
Hope you are managing to enjoy your new house a little though, despite the injuries. x

notSupermum said...

Hurray! Welcome back to earth Welsh Girl - it's been too long.

The tale of the crushed finger is horrid, as was the doctor.

But anyway, nice to have you back. How are your food rations holding out? Are you able to get any provisions from anywhere?

The Singlutionary said...

Oh how I've missed you!!!!!!!!!!!! SO glad you are back!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

That doctor sounds evil!

Hope you make it to the shops. I bet they have no bread, everywhere is sold out here. It is like being in Russia after all!

Steve said...

You may want to try Jam or Honey in your porridge. I find the give a better flavour than cigarettes :)

All joking apart though, You've been having a tough few weeks by the sounds of it. Summer's nearly here though....happy days! :)

Anonymous said...

I demand a photo of the mad woman in her get up! I'm only semi joking. Sorry about the finger.

Ben said...

Hooray. welcome back.

bevchen said...

VERY glad to see you back. I've missed you!
Sucks about the finger. And the being snowed in. There isn't even enough snow here for my train to work to be cancelled... despite the fact that the train actually comes from Switzerland. I guess they're just used to it.

Mr Farty said...

Oh, ow! Ow! OW! Yes, ok, your snow beats our snow.

I've had a crushed finger too, but not actually broken. Expect it to take a looooong time to heal. xxx

elizabethm said...

Yes, you are still out there! So sorry to hear about the finger (change doctor right now) and the being shut out of home. I am longing to see all your changes but sounds as if you are even more snowed in than I am so between us we are quite inaccessible. We borrowed a landy and got out today. It looks utterly beautiful but we seem to have been a bit snowbound for weeks. Spring is out there hiding somewhere!

Cal said...

So happy to have you back and so sorry for the crushed finger and having to do it all aloneness.

I'm afraid we've only just got the snow here in Lunnon Town so I'm at the ridiculously excited stage (helped by the fact I work from home and don't have to try to commute). But I'm trying to empathize.

katyboo1 said...

Gah! Even reading about the finger made me feel sick. It must have been agony. Do you want me to hex the doctor for you?

I am very glad you are back too.xx

Liberty London Girl said...

oh just WAHHHHHHHHH. You poor love LLGxx

grain of sand said...

Wonderful to see you here again ... visions of collapsed ceilings with Loyal Hound frantically digging were floating about ... good luck on your jaunt to get provisions. There is about an inch of snow here in Cambridge and the place has shut down ... sigh

ever onward

Home Office Mum said...

Oh hooray!!! I am so glad you're back. I thought maybe you'd fallen off the mountain or had an internet date too far, but so glad that you're alive albeit with injuries. Let us know if you need us to send pigeons in with rations strapped to their feet.

Anonymous said...

glad to see that you're back! i found your blog a while ago and then you disappeared. i was disappointed but i'm very glad i was patient and waited! i think your doctor should have someone pull his finger nail out with no anesthesia and then, just for fun, put it back in to see how "together" he can keep himself. what an ass. is your finger all healed again?

Welsh Girl said...

Mud - I'd imagine you do now have snow??
Screamish - nice combination isn't it..
Justme - Yes, all is good and I'm glad now of the gold plated boiler which is earning it's keep.
notSupermum - Food rations have been restocked and I am being terribly Nigellaish and making bread each day.
Singlutionary - me too!
Cynical Scribble - Evil is a good word to choose. warped and sadistic would also be suitable.
Steve - hello steve! Good tip on the porridge. I am going with golden syrup which I found a tin of in the cupboard. Mmmm. Now what were you saying about summer? It's minus 12 outside at the moment. Are you sure that summer is coming?
Growfamilygrow - I don't think I want to frighten you with that kind of image (and the loyal hound takes a rubbish photo...)
Ben - thanks!
Bevchen - It's all that european efficiency. Bet they are laughing their socks off at the fuss we are making...
Mr Farty - Thanks for those cheering words. I am currently at the pins and needles stage where the feeling is slowly returning (or I think that is what it is. Maybe it is an early sign of gangrene?)
ElizabethM - I have a small pot of Tete a Tete narcissus which are my reminder that there is a green world out underneath the snow.
Cal - empathy appreciated! You are welcome to come up here and get a real feel for it if you want to...
Katyboo - My mother won't look at my finger because she says it makes her feel ill. Whatever happened to maternal sympathy?? Please hex doctor immediately!
LLG - I think you just summed up how I felt for a fortnight. Perfect eloquence, as ever. xx
Grain of Sand - I long for just an inch of snow. I'm jealous. Sigh.
Home Office Mum - Pigeons with rations? interesting. Then again if I get too hungry I may end up eating the pigeons as well as the rations. I suspect that would be frowned on.
Kallaydoscope - I'm glad you were patient too. Thanks for hanging in there and for coming up with suitable rituals to torture Dr Death and Pain with.

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