I have Male!!!!

So, did you miss me? I missed myself while I was away. I have been racking up the mileage and ruining my carbon footprint. It now resembles one of those Jurassic Park prints that collect water and that people fall into. That's what comes of doing some 800 miles in a week I suppose. I made it home late on Sunday night and was so tired the following day that I really was cross eyed. I couldn't read anything, and had a headache so bad that I actually tried to see if somebody was behind me and trying to split my head open with a chisel and hammer. Unfortunately the whole cross eyed thing made that exercise tricky and exhausting.



So having rebelliously taken Monday off, in lieu of the weekend that I didn't have, I am now back in full working mode and am promptly doing my blog rather than my work. Hurrah for playing hookey.

So obviously the first thing to check was the progress of the war of the cybermen. Miraculously, I have male!!!!! Two of them in fact. Who knew that putting a photo of Catherine Zeta Jones up on the site would actually get results? Ok, so one of the responses was from Michael, wondering why I was looking for a new date, and one was from the La Jones's lawyers asking that I immediately take off all photos as it makes her look fat being squished into my little ad but it's still interest isn't it?

I also have exciting communication from a pilot in Dorset, and a playwright in Yorkshire. The pilot sounds rather nice actually. He has sent me his phone number though and now i may actually have to talk to him which is a completely different option to just rambling away by e mail.

The Playwright did have a funny story about trying on a wetsuit home alone (hmm - really?) and getting stuck in it cos he couldn't reach the zip. Eventually at 5 in the morning he managed to hook the zip onto a doorhandle and undo himself. I'm thinking that this might be some freudian story that should be warning me off. Actually, it just made me laugh. There is a more worrying side to him though - most of his messages seem to be about his ducks, of whom he is abnormally fond? Should I be worried???

Revenge of the Welsh Yeti

So, I failed miserably to write a blog yesterday. You could argue that this was a good thing as it meant that I actually did rather a large amount of work and ticked off all the pre holiday panic list by four o'clock.

So now here I am with my living earnt for today and only my Victorian bathing suit to pack for my holiday. I should be a leprechaun of happiness but instead I feel rather worried and depressed. I hate that.

What is truly cross making is that the reason for this misery is that the Beauty Salon who were charged with the responsibility of stripping away the last of my winter coat and buffing me up to look gorgeous for my holiday rang this morning and CANCELLED ME!!!!! How could they. I was relying on them transform me from the Welsh Yeti to something akin to Catherine Zeta Jones before she became Mrs Smug Douglas. I feel robbed, cheated and victimised all at once and all the joys of the imminent Easy Jet jaunt to sun, sand and a lot of Rose has leached away. Damn them.

They didn't even seem to appreciate the appalling nature of what they had done. In fact they seemed to think I was over reacting when I cried down the phone and then threatened to hunt them down with my hairy yeti legs. Now I have the additional worry that I can never book any sort of treatment there again as theywill think I am deranged and will torture me with hotter than normal wax and dulcet comments about incipient moustaches and the fact that they aren't magicians and can only work with what they are given. Bitches.

So now my holiday is ruined. It is going to take a lot of Rose and possibly a caftan to cover up the disaster and rescue anything from this debacle.