Monday, 20 April 2009

Return to the Hypnotist

As if I don't have enough on my plate with trying to move house (Completion date is set for the 29th April!!!!), I am now in a full scale battle with the hypnotist.

I rang him to tell him that the mind experiment seemed to have gone horribly awry and was rather taken aback to have him lecture me for ten minutes on how I was too stressed, bitter, angry and a miserable failure as a human being and that was why the whole thing hadn't worked. The fact that, right from the start, I had expressed doubts about whether I was a good hypnotism subject was irrelevant and any sense of culpability on his part was a ridiculous assertion and I should wash my mouth out with soap just for thinking it.

This is not good. The service he offers means that if the hypnotism fails then I have to go back for a rematch. That is to happen this afternoon. By now, I have so little trust in him that the idea of letting him hypnotise me is horrifying. So, I have a dilemma. Walk away from the £250 I spent, or go back and risk either being turned into a chicken or being done for murder most horrid when I stab the hypnotist in an infuriated rage as he lectures me on what a problem child I am.

All this on top of the fact that I am spending my morning speaking to all the varied customer service departments of the phone / insurers / broadband suppliers etc etc trying to get my house move sorted out.

So far I have managed woefully little, despite spending three hours on the telephone speaking to various people round the world. It turns out that moving house is a preposterous thing to do that involves mockery, dickensian paperwork and apparently no broadband access for the rest of my life. Not amusing. I now AM a bitter and angry person and am completely shocked at how wildly unhelpful the majority of the firms have been.

I know this is an incoherent rant but I'll be back when I have seen the hypnotist and will cluck away more coherently then.....


Anonymous said...

Thank you for making me laugh ! Just what I needed .. how does it feel now ?
Did I mention my soft spot for chickens ;-)
Chear up girl ! you made my day, and I thank you for it; so for what it's worth .. all this worry brought forth some happiness !
Greetings from Danielle in Bruges Belgium !

elizabethm said...

Now I really don't like this! Bastard. Not the right response at all. How about as an alternative coming round for a meal and a drink here? You can't smoke in the house so that would be a start of sorts!
Completion date on the house sounds scarily close - good luck.

justme said...

Wow! Didn't realise the move was so close. Hypnotist sounds useless. Better spend the money on chocolate. Or E mail me your address and I will send you some. (Wearing my Chocolate Fairy hat....)

Welsh Girl said...

Hello Danielle! Glad I cheered someone up. I was in such a filthy mood yesterday I'm amazed it wasn't contagious. How do I feel now? less stressed but still in need of a cigarette. Oh dear...

Welsh Girl said...

Elizabeth - I can't say I liked it much either... Coming round to yours sounds so much nicer - yes please!

Justme - Does your chocolate fairy hat melt in the sun????

Cathy said...

I hope you feel better today. I think moving is traumatic for most people because of all the crap you have to go thru to get there and then get settled in. This guy is really making me mad. He should give you your money back instead. He's a real jerk! Chocolate does sound like a good idea. It heals all wounds right?

lunarossa said...

Gosh, this is awful! I was thinking of going to see an hypnotist, but your ranting has put me off for life! I'd rather choose chocolate too, but then you might need to go back to the hypnotist to loose weight! All the best for your move. Ciao. Antonella

Rob-bear said...

OH, dear; this is just so sad. And so bl**dy ridiculous.

IN Canada, if the hypnotist is a physician, the treatment is covered by medicare (similar to your National Health). I had a number of treatments with a hypnotist, thought they provided little assistance.

As for getting re-connected to the world, living in rural areas can be da**ed inconvenient. Organizations like phone companies and internet providers are loath to service areas with few residents. So, consider your new home a modern-day monastic cell. Not exactly what you wanted? Oh dear!

Personally, I'd trade you houses on a moment's notice; my wife, however would NOT be amused. And I'm not sure how you'd make out in Canada. Case closed.

Best wishes in your new "adventure" -- I do hope it goes well.

Virtual hugs from the Canadian bear.

The Singlutionary said...

I've observed that alternative healthcare types tend to be rather defensive. At least the bad ones. I am sorry for this awful experience. This guy is making out like a bandit. What as ass. I think you should give him a smoking habit!

Anonymous said...

I've been checking back to find out how it's going!

Please update!!

Wish you all the best, it's such a tough thing to crack.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I hate it when practicioners blame the patient for a treatment's failure!! Sorry you had that happen to you.

I'd been thinking of trying hypnosis, but now I'm rather scared. . .


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