Friday, 15 August 2008

Nekkidness and Making Merry in the Hills

My heart is not in my work today. I have done some epic sorting out this week and there are no more piles of suspect paper that could harbour paperwork time bombs. Everything is filed and alphabetised to extinction. This makes my office feel very odd - I've never seen it so tidy. Consequently I have no sense of urgency about any of the things that I probably should be doing. In fact, it feels as though there is NOTHING TO DO, which I know to be untrue.

So, instead of seeking out all the odds and ends of work that I should be doing I have instantly turned to blogging. This makes me feel as though I am busy without me actually having to do any work - fabulous result methinks!

The radio is burbling on in the background and a headline just caught my shell like ear. 'Councils are powerless to stop the spread of lapdancing clubs'. This conjured up a vision of innocent grocery stores and ironmongery shops looking a little bit seedy and off colour one day, only to transform into Spearmint Rhino clubs the next time you saw them. Has anybody else out there noticed this happening? What are the warning symptoms that we should be looking out for (other than despairing council men rending their clothes and gnashing their teeth at the suspect spots)?

Can't see it happening here somehow. Welsh hill farmers don't really go in for 'nekkidness and making merry'. They only put on their set of clean check shirts and best cords for chapel and funerals. So unless the lapdancing plague has attacked funeral homes despite the best efforts of the helpless council, I think the boys are safe from the corruption of bored, near naked women.

Having said that there is a rural myth (sort of like an urban legend but without the axe murderers and idiot college studens waiting to be hacked to death) that on one night a year the local pub's bar maids all work topless. This could be exciting for the local menfolk if it wasn't for the fact that the bar maids are three generations of the same family and the youngest is 35.........


katyboo1 said...

We had a topless car wash in the last town I lived in! It was just down the road from where we used to rent a house in a very twee barn conversion. All the neighbours were outraged about the carwash, despite the fact that it was indoors. I thought it was hilarious and was trying to persuade my dad to get a part time job there wearing a sou wester and nipple tassles!

Sadly they got evicted for illegal flyposting. I believe they are now thriving in Coventry. It's a hotbed of sin in the Midlands!

Welsh Girl said...

You had a topless car wash and they got shut for Flyposting? Really?

katyboo1 said...

I know. Mental isn't it. Apparently all the nice middle class people were up in arms about it, but because they weren't doing at the side of the road and were operating out of an industrial estate nobody could get them on anything immoral, so they decided that the posters they had put up at the side of the road saying things like 'boobs 'n' bubbles this way' were illegal and ran them out of town! Shame I think. It comes to something when a town can't have its own tasteful topless carwash service!!!

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