Friday, 24 October 2008

Cold hands? Nothing for you then.

I heard an article on the radio today. Apparently, scientists have done a study on whether people holding a warm drink are more generous than people holding a cold drink. Seriously? The world is coming to a boil, there is a some form or economic armageddon taking place, disease is stalking the land (well, lots of people have flu), the sun rarely shines and THIS is what they choose to study? I give up.

It turns out, that if you are holding a warm drink you are more likely to think nicely of other people and to give them lovely presents. If you are holding a cup of ice you will hate everybody and hoard all the presents to yourself.

This seems like one of the more pointless studies ever carried out. How will it change the world? Are they suggesting that if we could only give Mugabe a nice warm cup of cocoa he would start feeding his starving population and hugging Bono? Does the russian army just need a cup of soup in order to start loving the Georgians? Would Nescafe have given Pol Pot a pause for thought and the urge to become best friends with Mother Theresa?

Now, I like a cup of coffee as much as the next person. I'm not saying it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy towards my neighbours, but the caffeine rush does make me feel slightly less deranged and on the verge of mass hysteria / murder. If I was instead given a cup of ice, I would probably think nasty thoughts towards the donor and reconsider our friendship. I don't have a science degree and a research budget of many thousands of pounds and I know this already.

I see no hope for the future of mankind if this is what the great brains are spending their time doing. Oh, hold on - I just made a cup of coffee. Perhaps they are right. I shall send them a large present and think nice things about them (until the mug goes cold that is).


katyboo1 said...

Agreed. It makes my blood boil when they're wasting money on this instead of researching into my latest invention of brown sauce as a detergent in dishwashers. No wonder I am an overlooked genius.

Hang on a minute. Let me put down this cup of ice and swap it for a nice mug of steaming Bovril. Ah! That's better. I have decided that I will now no longer go round to their houses and squirt brown sauce through their letter boxes.

Amazing. They do have a point!

Welsh Girl said...

The brown sauce idea is sure to catch on. As is the boob jelly mould - your time will come. Send everyone a cup of hot bovril and then propose your ideas. Success will be yours!

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