Trying out new careers

Over the last four days I have been diversifying from me normal work and have tried out the following:

Friday Night: Cleaner - I was staying at my sister's flat (she was away) and as the painters have been in the place was a hell hole of dust and detritus. I spent two hours maniacally dusting, hoovering and polishing. Why is this always easier to do in somebody else's house than in your own?

Saturday Morning: Art Dealer - I have a friend who is an exceptionally good artist. She has had 5 seperate solo shows on Cork Street so she must be good. However, she is currently trying to raise the cash to frame the paintings for the new exhibition and rang me to ask if I knew anyone who might want to buy some of her work at non gallery prices and would I do the Wheeler Dealer bit for her since she is absolutely incapable of selling her own work. As it happened I did know a couple of people so on Saturday morning I drove to Greenwich and sold £10,000 worth of paintings!!!!!

Saturday Night: Photographer to the stars - The infamous party finally arrived and having managed to stay almost sober (and awake) until ten o'clock I ran around taking photos of people getting steadily drunker. Hopefully they will be what was wanted as I was the only person taking photos! I hate doing things like this. It is far too much pressure and I am not a good enough photographer (particularly at night when I can never get the light right) to justify such a responsibility. Won't be doing that one again!

Monday - Cook again. By this stage I was so tired that I nearly fell asleep in the ham and mustard pie as I was making it. However, I did manage to make the triple layer chocolate cake and Queen of Puddings successfully.

All in all, having reviewed the last weekend, I am just glad to be home and back to normal. I wonder if I can remember how to do my real job?