My knowledge is gapless, but my menu is filled with them.

Whilst I'm fully aware that I shouldn't mock what is a horrible experience for anyone, my favourite headline on the radio today was this: "a record number of people have gone bust". I now have two rather fabulous pictures in my head;

* Lots of people exploding with a fleshy pop in high streets round the country.
* Lots of people waking to find that their previously non existent chest has expanded dramatically to give them capacious and pillowy busts that will need scaffolding and structural engineers to support them.

It's just how my mind works; taking somebody else's life altering moment and seeing something wildly amusing in my head instead. Oh dear, I'm not sure that that doesn't say something about my callous and cruel nature. Oops.

On a more cheerful note, I have just done a general knowledge quiz that Mia-oia sent me to (http://www.blogthings.com/doyouhavegapsinyourknowledgequiz/) and it turns out that I have NO GAPS in my knowledge. I am a genius. I am invincible. Bow down before me....

Putting the megalomaniac to one side for a moment, I'm quietly getting excited about the fact that next week I have NO MEETINGS AT ALL. Hurrah. This means that I get to spend the entire week at home, I may even remember where home is. I have to get through the weekend first. I am cooking again.

So far the cooking has not gone well and I haven't even got near a kitchen. I may have no gaps in my knowledge, but it seems that my menu plan is filled with holes. I did the menu plan in a daze last Sunday after the babysitting trauma. It was approved by those in the know, and I then sat down yesterday morning to write the shopping list. This was going well until I discovered that the caramelised passion fruit and fresh orange juice tart that I had gaily suggested had disappeared. I can't find it anywhere, therefore I can't cook it. I haven't confessed to this yet and will have to spring pears poached in red wine and vanilla on them instead and hope that they forget I ever suggested the glamourous sounding tart.

Having compiled the wretched list I threw myself, my wallet and the loyal hound into the car and sped off for the sassenach border. Only as I crossed through customs did I realise I had left the vital list at home in my printer. Great. I had to remember all the ingredients for two four course dinners, two cooked breakfasts, lunch and tea and the quantities needed to feed 14 people as a trip back over the border today was out of the question.

I am hoping that all this irritation will mean that the actual cooking will go smoothly. I think I will hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I shall have to go in a minute and start poaching the pears and making the Iced White Chocolate terrine, which according to the recipe which I have just looked at, I should have made yesterday...........