David Bellamy's heaven

So, I'm back from my holiday but that information seems to be top secret as my phone has scarcely rung all day. Well, both my sisters and my brother rang but that hardly counts. So I should be seizing this blessed moment of calm to get a scythe and fight my way into the garden but i can't be bothered. It's too much like hard work and will only show me how much more hard work I should be doing in order to have a space around the house that Monty Don could smile on, rather than one that David Bellamy can hide in. This seems to be partly due to the fact that the last bit of work I did before I went which was weedkilling which seems to have had a stimulating effect on all the plants I wanted to kill as they have thrived whilst I was away and I now can't see past the weeds to the trees.............

in addition, the book club that we set up in a drunken moment in the depths of winter is due to meet at my house tomorrow night. I have no food other than two old bananas and no real urge to drive the 50 mile round trip to the supermarket. There's no escaping it though. That is what I am going to have to do. I have read the books though thanks to the holiday of doing nothing (MM Kaye Shadow of the Moon and TH White Sword in the Stone - both old favourites).

So, rather than unpack my grotty suitcase, mop the floor in the kitchen in an attempt to pretend that I am a good housefrau, make bread from scratch (as if), weed the garden, cut the lawn or generally use my time usefully I am spending the day writing this and reading everyone elses blogs (Katyboo as ever and Wife in the North out of curiousity).

At the end of the day I shall be cross with myself for getting nothing done. No win situation unless I get off my keyboard and leave the office for the wilds of wales that lurk outside the door.